I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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