Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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