saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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