Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
