It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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