Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
