If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
