What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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