So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
