So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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