he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
