real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
