dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
