Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
