never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
