I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize