grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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