we made out on top of his cat.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
