Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
