oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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