another moral hangover. fuck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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