I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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