i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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