whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
