haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
