She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
