I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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