I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
