A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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