I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
