Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
