West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
