it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
