sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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