I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
