I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
