Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
