wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
