Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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