Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
