i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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