you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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