i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
