wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hell yes lets make some ravioli
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
