I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
