She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
