She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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