So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
