I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
