I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
