We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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