I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
