I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
