u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
