Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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