Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
