The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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