i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What drink are we having for lunch?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize