a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
