I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Two words: nipple clamps
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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