Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
