Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I am morally bankrupt
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
