we have officially lost it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize