my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize