My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
