the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize