week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have tasted many bathrooms
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize