who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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