i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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