I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize